And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall make your path straight.

- Proverbs 3:5-6

Monday, March 8, 2010

I knew something was wrong in December...

I knew something was wrong in December; I wasn't sure what. What became clear was that Howard was still working at Cancer Treatment Centers of America for a reason.


As Claire writes this (Hey y'all!) we are sitting side-by-side in a chemo suite, #15, while I receive my third treatment. Up to this point, I have received radiation 13 times and, pretty soon, this will all be a memory. (My mom's "got a little dizz going" right now... Please hold while they change her drips...)

I still have my hair, which is a blessing. My forever-hair-care stylist, Gina, insists I could lose half my hair and still have a full head of it. Claire is VERY optimistic that I will keep all of it considering I have industrial strength hair. My wonderful oncologist, Dr. Ketterl, does not share her optimism...

I have no energy, physically, but spiritually I am being bolstered by many fierce prayer warriors, and tender hearts who show me their love by feeding me and gifting me tokens of encouragement. (On behalf of everyone mom, you're welcome.) Claire is helping me do this blog so that you can check up on me without worrying that you are intruding. I'll do my best to update this weekly, at the very least. Claire may even do some updates, herself (because I force her to talk to me because I am her daughter!)

To end this post, I want to introduce you to my mantra for this phase in my life:

Release, because God alone is in charge of this process.
Rest in God, because the Bible tells me so.
Receive from God and from other people. (This is her hardest "R", she isn't used to being waited on.)
Rejoice. This is my sister, Wendy's, contribution. It's an excellent addition. I do rejoice and I'm certainly grateful.

As a greeting, people are trained to say, "How are you?" and I'm keenly aware that they probably don't want to open that can of worms with me so, for right now, I have trained myself to respond with sincerity and certainty, God is taking care of me, today!

1 comment:

  1. I stand in awe of your courage! Joseph prayed tonight that God would help you take your medicine... I commend to you the words of the song that got me through a tough time a couple of years ago.
    And I'll praise you in this storm
    and I will lift my hands
    for You are who You are
    no matter where I am
    and every tear I've cried
    You hold in your hand
    You never left my side
    and though my heart is torn
    I will praise You in this storm

    This Casting Crowns song is amazing... It lifted me and I pray that it will lift you...

    Much Love,