I suppose I've left this unwritten long enough, but I've been pritnear useless and somewhat "distracted" until just recently. I had surgery on August 4. Decided if I was on pain meds I might as well be on them for more than one issue (irradiated intestines and stomach were one, surgery the additional). I was fortunate to have one of the five top Oncological surgeons, Dr. Pierre Greeff, as my doctor. He gave me the prettiest smiley face scar you would ever want to see (horizontal, thank you) and laughed when my body started spitting out the staples. He was happy to see my body "rejecting" them as he put it, took the remaining 18 out, and just taped me shut. He'll tell you I didn't like him much at first, but I certainly adore him, now!
One big concern that was handled by pushing the date was that Claire and Holly could be here. Claire used a massive wad of her flex time and Holly, bless her heart, used her vacation time to come to Tulsa to meet my increasing need. Claire spent every night but one of the six sleeping on a pull out chair bed contraption while I was in hospital and I will always be in awe of her generosity and good-natured constant care for me. The nurses were in love with her, too, for the same reason, and allowed her free access to the Special Care Unit facilities, including the Sonic ice on steroids machine and the Oh So Fabulous heated blanket closet. (Claire and I both had fun with our nurses. CTCA picks winners.) Somehow, my daughter knew what I wanted before I wanted it and way before I asked for it. I'm not sure she slept more than 15 minutes at a time because, if I was awake, she was awake. She was such a God-send! She says I raised her right. She's an accelerated learner, I say. She would be the most incredible personal assistant. She'd be the most incredible anything-she-wants-to-be.
Miss Holly arrived the same day I was allowed to come home. That she used her only multi-day vacation in over a year to be with me will ALWAYS impress me. She gave up R and R for the "opportunity" to watch me in, probably, the worst, most unrelenting pain of my life. I had some trouble with my kidneys and had to go back and have tests done. The surgery was pretty extensive and there was a lot of additional scar tissue removed from surrounding organs so it's not a surprise there was extra pain. We think that time is all that's necessary, but I'll go back, soon, for another ultrasound to make sure the obstruction and the stasis has reconciled. I'm much improved, no doubt because Holly's hugs are healing and I am, as a direct result, healing. I just wish could have taken some of them on account...
Howard has been doing his best to fill in after the girls' departure. Not that he doesn't already have a full plate, but, he comes home when he can during the day and makes sure I eat whatever I want every night. I've been heavily into hamburgers (I pitch half the bun, of course) and Taco Bueno Muchacos and Indian food. I know! And McCalesters' pot roast potato. They are all comfort food, I suppose. Even when I couldn't manage anything else hot, I could eat a pot roast potato and I think it's because it is something like what my mother has made on a regular basis my whole life which, I guess, is the definition of comfort food. The Curry? I don't know what makes that comfort food but it just IS. And, yes, I'm allowing myself more foods, now. The compulsion to eat only certified healthy foods has abated, somewhat. I'm just following His lead.
A couple days ago while sitting on my bed, pretending I wasn't in pain, I had an epiphany. There I was, sitting on my bed, eating an organic peanut butter and jelly on Spelt english muffin, listening to my dog breathe and watching an actress over act in a Lifetime movie. There I was. I AM! I'm here! I'm here! I get to Stay and Play! Grace and Mercy are mine. Thank you, God, forevermore. I walked through the valley of the shadow of death and GOD IS WITH ME. He continues to comfort me. My cup runneth over!
Speaking of Comfort, thank you all for checking in on me. Thank you for the flowers, food, and the rides to appointments, and the phone and FB messages. And, especially, your prayers! You comfort me as God is taking care of me. My cup runneth over.